My transition from cluttered to simple living.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

On Step-parenting

I love you just as though

Publisher:Nicholas Gordon

I love you just as though you were my own,
Though you are not the children of my blood.
Love is not lodged within one's flesh and bone,
But in one's heart, which goes which way it would.
I married into you, as into wealth,
Or into some bright mansion, just by chance.
You were not why I came, nor what I felt
That made me give my life to this romance.
Yet once we were a family, out of need,
Love came bubbling up from some sweet spring,
Watering the newly planted seed
That it might in the will of sunlight sing.
So may we long remain through love and art:
Stepparent and stepchildren of the heart.



When I married their dad in 1998, I became step-mother to Alex and Heather, two of the best step-kids anyone could ask for. I have always been treated with respect and never has an angry word passed between us. I am one of the lucky ones....

Step-parenting, however is not for the faint-of-heart.... Do I have any regret? Some.

From the beginning of our relationship, I chose to take the back seat in all affairs concerning the children. I did not discipline. I felt that was their dad's responsibility. I did not attend their at-home activities as I did not want the children to feel uncomfortable with their mom and I in the same room.

What I have learned is that when you claim that "back seat" as your own, that is the seat that will be assigned to you in the future. That is my regret....

And so, I hope my step-kids will always know that I was the silent partner, encouraging, directing, worrying, banking, suggesting, cheering, arranging...and always loving. Always.

A new day is here, and on that note, I want to step forward and claim my rightful place in the future. I want to be a part of the plan. When you visit, I want it to be a visit to "Dad and Wendy." When you start bringing little ones into the world. your children will be MY grandchildren as Dustin and Alexia, Halen and Delia are your dad's... I want to claim the title of "Nana" when that day comes.

I love you guys...always have and always will......

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1 comment:

  1. I think it's wonderful to have these two in your life. They are lucky to have you, too, and I hope they are aware of it, or if not, that they WILL become aware of it. Kids these days take this kind of thing in stride, don't they? They are certainly not alone in this situation with their friends...