I am back.

My last post was well over a week ago. So much has prevented me from writing. The creative juices have not been flowing. I have felt overwhelmed by relationship issues, but I have visited the blogs I follow and have been inspired by their posts and will attempt to get back on track in the coming days.

It is strange how the ones that we are connected to in the most intimate way...the ones who we grew up with and share blood ties... are often the ones that can bring the most grief into our lives. The details are irrelevant. The issues constantly replay, like an old 45 vinyl, well-loved, but worn and damaged. What I long for is not the solution to the problem, because the problems are too many to resolve. I long for the knowledge of how to disconnect from a situation which is hurtful, repetitive, and which takes me to a place that is so uncomfortable...and one which is so earthy in nature. Do we all not want to rise above issues and actions that keep us at ground level?

My religion forbids backbiting. It also forbids the use of alcohol and drugs. The latter is "a piece of cake." The former is an ongoing challenge. Backbiting, (or gossiping about others) is practiced by many and often done as a form of entertainment. Its effects are injurious. It ruins one's reputation. It has the potential to destroy self-esteem. It is infectious...and could be considered pandemic in its extent and involving nature.

I was recently visited on this site by the author (I think) of "Esteem News" who spoke of living in the now, and who writes eloquently on the many faces and issues and importance of self esteem. I now visit this site on a daily basis. I am hoping to learn how to develop and maintain a sense of self esteem in the light of the ongoing events in my life which often cause me to question my own self worth.

So...for the rest of the day, I will constantly endeavor to focus on those things which bring me great joy. I am going to pick up my grandbaby from school today and spend a few delicious hours in his company. I will look forward to a visit from my granddaughter in the coming days. I will finish a long forgotten pair of socks, and play in my garden for a few hours. I will consciously do everything I can to turn off the voices in my head that sour my day.