Why?

I was recently asked why I always look at the worse case scenario,  My daughter asked me that question on a recent visit.  We had sat watching her young son swim, and I had gazed over to the adult pool which was empty at that point in time.  I saw ripples in the water and asked what it was.  She told me that it was a result of the pump which was circulating water.  I said that I hoped that it wasn't anyone in trouble...and that is when she asked me why...why do I think the worst?

That question has lingered since I was asked it.  Why do I?  Perhaps it is fear....Nobody wants to witness a sorrow, so I think I try to anticipate an impending incident before it happens.  I have nursed for over 35 years.  I have seen the very worst.  I have heard the very worst.  Many of the ill and dying that I cared for were the result of incidents that could have been prevented.  If that doesn't inspire fear in your heart, nothing will.

So.. do I try to protect myself, and the ones I care about by alerting them to potential dangers?  Perhaps.

Is fear, cynicism, and negativity a hereditary trait...or is it an environmentally acquired trait?  Did  I acquire this tendency at home, or is this a societal disease?

I don't believe that I am cynical... nor do I believe that I am negative.   I believe that I am fearful.  That is all. 

I try to think the very best of others.  I believe that people, for the most part, act with the very best of intention.  (I know that my family members do...  I hope that the strangers I encounter do too.)  As a habit, I think the best of others until I am proven wrong.  Not everyone does.

I have family members who are suspicious of every action or word.  (They even are suspicious of the motives of their own family members.)  The first response from their lips is one of negativity... but fear of motive, and suspicion is thankfully, not a trait I acquired.  Why do I say that?  Because their fears...their cynicism... and their negativity make others feel unhappy and nervous.

I don't know why I am the way I am...but what I do know is that when I express a fear without reason, I make others nervous and unhappy.

I am going to work on that...

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.

Helen Keller